First Things First...

First Things First...

I wish I could remember the first time I stepped into a yoga studio. I remember my first yoga experience…a yoga tape my sister gifted me when she went to college, but my actual first yoga class I am failing to recall. I have been practicing yoga since 2002, been to countless studios since, and every time I walk through the doors of a new space, there is a bit of anxiety. What will the community be like? Will I like the class? The teachers? What will my practice feel like today? Am I enough? I feel the fear, and walk in. Move forward. Step onto my mat.

Today in class, the teacher said asana is challenging and fun to master, but it doesn’t much help to solve your daily problems. It doesn’t keep you from being a bad person. Or help you to make ethical choices. There are seven other limbs of yoga, and Asana is the most practiced limb of yoga. I thought of it the entire class as I attempted to twist myself into funny shapes. And here is what I can gather: Asana is the catalyst. It’s a means to an end…I physically exert and frustrate myself, and the hard stuff comes about: negative self talk, feelings of unworthiness, anger, irritation, sadness. The good stuff comes too, and there are times when I feel like my heart could not be more open. No matter what though, it’s all good, even when it’s not. This is why I practice. Because it is always different, even when the shapes in class are the same. Why I am willing to feel the fear, and move anyway. Why I step onto my mat each time.